Keys to Conflict Resolution: Conflict can be constructive

There are many contexts in which conflicts arise, and many “keys” to helping resolve them. One critical key is to avoid fear, especially fear of the conflict itself. Prof. Chad Ford, an internationally recognized mediator, reminds us, “not all conflict is contentious. Not all conflict needs to end in despair or destruction.” Instead, he assures us that “conflict can also lead to joy, prosperity, and strengthened relationships." Prof. Ford compares how conflict works constructively to how water reshapes landscapes, changing contours over time, even turning mountains into valleys.

That's a key to understanding conflict. A key to conflict resolution that it suggests is not the ability to hold out until you find out whether your conflict is one that is potentially destructive or potentially creative, but to decide which one you will allow it to be.

Viewing conflict as solely destructive, Ford warns, “will often become a self-fulfilling prophecy”. Instead, if we focus on the constructive potential or capabilities in conflict, we can “defuse the discouragement” that prevents us from seeing and seeking resolutions that build and improve upon the circumstances and relationships in and over which the conflict exists.

This doesn’t mean we should disregard the fact that, even if we view conflict as constructive, as with landscape-altering water flows, being in the midst of the conflict can be daunting. Instead, we should acknowledge that the conflict itself can make it difficult to see the desirable outcome that it might (if we let it) lead to, and let this awareness compel us to try harder to embrace the positivity and hope that will themselves help bring about a better resolution.