Forgiveness is an often misunderstood virtue but is also often cited as an important and effective component of conflict resolution. While we feel angry, hurt, or offended, we often push the quality of forgiveness away. We view forgiveness as something we might bestow as a consequence of conflict resolution rather than as a means of accomplishing it. It is something we think that we could offer as a reward to our adversary in return for their willingness to compromise and, es

People do not typically go into mediation, arbitration, or any other dispute handling system, with gratitude on their minds. But they should. It would make things go much better. An old hymn penned by John Oatman Jr. reminds us to “Count [our] many blessings,” promising the gifts of comfort, help, and surprise will accompany the activity. Today, I contemplated gratitude as I was using our small, electric snow blower to clear our driveway of one of winter’s last hurrahs. I rem

In the movie, “Wild Mountain Thyme,” Jamie Dornan’s gentle-hearted Irish farmer, Anthony Reilly, cries out to his long-suffering love interest, Rosemary Muldoon (played by Emily Blunt), “I don’t like to fight!” “Well, who does?” she answers. “Half of Ireland,” he replies, “just not me!” The truth is a lot of us do like to fight. A brief sojourn through the cesspools of X, Facebook and many other social media platforms reveals it, where even arguments over as mundane topics as

There are two kinds of caring about what others are thinking. On the one hand, your concern may focus on yourself – “what are they thinking about me?” Any expert can tell you that, while seeking positive social connections and acceptance is natural and healthy, the tendency can easily take a dark and ironically self-destructive turn. But that’s not what this blog entry is about.  Instead, it’s about the other kind of caring about what others are thinking: The kind that cares

There are many contexts in which conflicts arise, and many “keys” to helping resolve them. One critical key is to avoid fear, especially fear of the conflict itself. Prof. Chad Ford, an internationally recognized mediator, reminds us, “not all conflict is contentious. Not all conflict needs to end in despair or destruction.” Instead, he assures us that “conflict can also lead to joy, prosperity, and strengthened relationships." Prof. Ford compares how conflict works constr